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Sunday, October 16th, 2005
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i am in a one way relationship with a Man who says He loves me but i doubt it (frowns)
i feel like i am the only one trying and working towards something and that He only bothers with me when there is nothing better to do (cries) so why do i let Him continue this? (frowns) because i love Him and times like now, i wish i didnt, i wish He were a jerk so i could tell Him to fuck off but my heart wont let me (frowns) i have no intimacy with Him and spend virtually no time with Him so it is as if He were just someone that tells me that They love me and expect me to be happy because of it no matter if He spent less than 10 minutes with me that day or all week (frowns)
i need something more, or maybe something better (frowns) better for me
maybe He isnt the ONE
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, September 26th, 2005
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1. i wont disappear and dash off without letting Daddy know that i have to go somewhere, where i am going, how long i will be gone and when i will be back
2. If i am late, i will ring Him and let Him know i am late and let Him know when i expect to be home again
3. If i tell Daddy i will ring Him, i will ring Him when i said i would unless He knows i might be late calling
4. If He is to ring me, i will be ready to accept His call by having my phone with me
5. i will not over react to things He did NOT say or do
6. i will communicate my feelings so that He is aware of how i am feeling and why and i wont simply reply with one word (Okay)
7. i will make myself available to Him as He desires since i am His and He is mine and i wish only to please Him
8. i will be more understanding of His needs and wants and will submit to His will as He wishes
9. i understand He needs time away from me and will smile and be happy He has spent whatever time He has with me and not complain about the few moments He doesnt spend with me
10. He will know He is loved morning, noon, night
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Sunday, September 25th, 2005
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i forgot about live journal (smiles) i will try to remember to write in here more.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
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| Time: | 12:53 am. |
| Mood: |  sad. |
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i am not doing so good and ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) imherdaddy and i are still fighting (frowns) i dont know what to do and the only thing that comes to mind is to be a good little girl and not talk (frowns) Daddy still hasn't wanted to be with me and i know it is because i make Him mad and He doesnt want to be around bad little girls (frowns)
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
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| Time: | 10:08 am. |
| Mood: | sad. |
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my nose is stuffed up since i cry all day and night (frowns) Daddy sleeps when i am awake so i dont see Him a lot (frowns) and i yell like a bad little girl because He doesnt hear me (cries) when i just talk and He gets mad at me and yells back (frowns)
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
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| Time: | 12:51 am. |
| Mood: | rejected. | | Music: | Covenant - Dead Stars (Club Version). |
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imherdaddy talked to me today about how i have been acting (frowns) and after spending many hours chatting i still feel the same as before (frowns) and i dont know why i think Daddy isnt interested in me
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:49 am. |
| Mood: | sad. |
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imherdaddy doesnt pay attention to me anymore (cries) He is bored with me and doesnt want to put His peepee into my special place (frowns) i must be a very bad girl for Daddy not to love me or want me anymore (cries)
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 27th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:54 am. |
| Mood: |  excited. |
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(doesn't think her Daddy reads her journal)
i saw 2 girls kiss and it made me feel squishy inside and i told Daddy and asked Him if He thought that meant that i also liked girls and He said He hoped not.
Daddy says He is selfish and doesnt want to share me with other Daddies or any boy or girl (smiles) and that makes me feel like i am Daddys special little girl
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 10:33 am. |
| Mood: | excited. |
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Daddy was sleepy last night (frowns) and so i went to bed aching in my special place. i wanted to tell Him that i was tingly inside (frowns) but little girls shouldn't feel like that unless their Daddy says so.
imherdaddy never said i couldn't touch my sweet spot but i worry that if i tell Him i want to He might get mad and punish me (frowns) for wanting more than Daddy wants me to have (frowns)
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, January 26th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:03 am. |
| Mood: |  contemplative. |
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i worry when He seems disinterested in me and i act out and i know He tries to be patient with me and shows me all of His love but i wonder if He resents me for it because He will bring it up later and hurt me with the words because He does remember and it is like He is keeping track of every bad thing i say or do (frowns) He didn't want sex this morning and it scared me (frowns) Does He not want me? Does He not find my attractive? Dont i arouse Him? (frowns) i wish to ask Him but He is still asleep. I wonder too if He will read this and ask me about it
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 10:54 am. |
| Mood: |  tired. | | Music: | Peter Murphy - The Sweetest Drop. |
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If i look up into His face and say,
"Yes, Daddy, whatever it costs,"
at that moment He'll flood my Life with His presence and power.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:12 pm. |
| Mood: | bored. |
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imherdaddy is making me play EverQuest tonight (frowns) i get so bored playing the game but i know He likes spending time with me in there. i can't say no to Him because it would hurt His feelings and i have hurt Him enough (frowns)
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 3:43 pm. |
| Mood: |  giddy. | | Music: | Peter Murphy - The Sweetest Drop. |
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I chose new icons and i am so happy (laughs) i can't wait to see what they look like.
Daddy said it was Okay to use and i hope He doesn't regret the decision
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 3:34 pm. |
| Mood: | jubilant. | | Music: | The Pretenders - The Wait. |
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This is my first post in my journal.
imherdaddy said i could post and now i see that i have nothing to say (laughs)
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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